BRITISH HUMOR

These are classified ads

that were actually placed in U.K. newspapers.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing

your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without

using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell

‘crocodile?’

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.’

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you

asked me how I spell it.

(I love this child)

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the

chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking

about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s

H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one

important thing we have today that

we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always

get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the

ground than you are.

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TEACHER: George Washington not

only chopped down his father’s cherry

tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,

do you know why his father didn’t

punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the

axe in his hand.

_________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly,

do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mum

is a good cook.

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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on

‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your

brother’s. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a

person who keeps on talking when

people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

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PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE

SOMEONE LAUGH!