I NEVER KNEW I WAS HOME SCHOOLED

Most of our Generation of 60+ were HOME  SCHOOLED in many ways . 

 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
>3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL  
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
>4. My father taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why .”
>5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
>7. My father taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
>8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
>11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”
>13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…”
>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”
>15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
>16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it from your father when you get home!”
>18 .   My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
>19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
>20. My father taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
>22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
>23. My mother taught me about my FAMILY HISTORY.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?”
>24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.
>25. My father taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
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This should only be sent to the over 60 crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these “EXACT” words by   our parents.