FROM THE MAILBAG ~

Imagine a virus that can come to the grocery store with you, on the bags you bring from home, but the same viruses don’t come on the clothes you brought from home……because the virus only likes old grocery bags and not clothing.

A virus so smart it will only attack people in non-essential businesses and waits until a group is 10 or more…….and then it strikes. If there is a group of nine it waits for the 10th to enter….and then the attack begins.

A virus unable to attack in liquor stores but will definitely kill everyone at the gym. Imagine a virus so deadly that it can be killed with soap and water.

Imagine a virus that can’t jump 3 feet over glass at the grocery store but could kill everyone at the fitness club…..but will in no way kill anyone buying booze, smokes, weed or fast food.

Imagine a virus that doesn’t infect children but does infect old people because it can think and obviously can assess age before it strikes. Imagine a virus that can kill at less than 6 feet, not 7, not 8….6.

Imagine a virus infecting everyone on TV but infecting no one you know personally……unless you’re on Facebook and then someone you don’t know, knows another person you don’t know, who knows a friend of Aunt Betty, who had the virus.

Imagine a virus so deadly, hospitals are laying off nurses and closing entire floors…just to stay open.

Imagine a virus so smart that it knows not to infect government officials as they’re signing government legislation regarding the virus killing everyone instantly at distances closer than 6 feet.

Imagine a virus understanding that it can only kill the public and not the politicians who huddle together shoulder to shoulder in front of the cameras. Kill the public and leave the people in government alone.

Imagine a virus that only infects non-communist countries because it can see borders with its special glasses. This virus is really something.

Imagine a virus that’s supposed to be airborne but doesn’t come out the sides of any mask because the mask is magic like that. The virus is so smart it knows to stay inside the mask and not leak out the sides of the mask with the rest of the air.

And if the masks work at blocking the virus, why can’t we go back to work wearing masks and if they don’t work….why are we wearing them?

Imagine a virus so smart that it will kill you instantly at the park, beach or on the bike path as you exercise (with no one else around you for miles) but will leave you alone at all essential businesses.

Imagine a virus so deadly and so lethal that the only way to protect yourself from it, is to inject it under your skin. Now imagine a person who can’t pick any of this out. They’re not doing too good right now and they will fare even worse moving forward.

And then there was that astute observation that someone sent via email last week saying, “If underwear and blue jeans cannot conceal your flatulence, how can you expect a face mask to keep out a virus? Duh!”