~ THE COYOTE PRINCIPLE ~
California
- The Governor of California was jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumped out and attacked the Governor’s dog, then bit the Governor on the ass.
- The Governor started to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi,” and realizes he should stop, because the coyote was only doing what is natural.
- He called animal control. Animal Control captured the coyote and billed the State $400 testing it for diseases and $700 for relocating it.
- He called a veterinarian. The vet collected the dead dog and billed the State $800 testing it for diseases.
- The Governor went to hospital and spent $4,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote, and, on getting his ass bite wound bandaged.
- The running trail got shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducted a $400,000 survey to make sure the area was now free of dangerous animals.
- The Governor spent $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
- The State Legislature spent $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
- The Governor’s security agent was fired for not stopping the attack. The state spent $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training on the nature of coyotes.
- PETA protested the coyote’s relocation, and filed a $15 million suit against the state.
Texas
- The Governor of Texas was rolling along in his wheel chair with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumped out and attacked his dog.
- He pulled his .45, shot the coyote dead with this state-issued pistol, before it could hurt his dog, and kept rolling. The Governor spent seventy cents on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.
- Buzzards ate the dead coyote.
And that is why California is broke, and the great State of Texas prospers.