Funnies for the Week
Here in the US, another big election show of Reassurance Rituals is upon us.
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.—Jay Leno
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.—Henry Cate, VII
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.—Aesop
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.—Will Rogers
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.—Nikita Khrushchev
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.—Clarence Darrow
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.—Author unknown
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.—John Quinton
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.—Oscar Ameringer
I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.—Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.—Tex Guinan
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.—Charles de Gaulle
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.—Doug Larson
There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on Congressmen.—Will Rogers
Funnies for the Week 