At Last! A Use for the TSA!
A guy tried to dispose of some trash, only to find that in totalitarian Amerika, “the dump buries you in dump rules. … [It] refuses to take my cans of old paint unless I buy $45 of cat litter and over a period of several weeks suffer the hassle of drying the paint into a solid form by constantly mixing the cat litter into the liquid paint until it is transformed from a liquid to a rock solid form.”
Ah, but then he recalls “another frustrating place, the Transportation Security Administration,” which confiscated his “Starbucks grande’ mocha in a brand new paper cup with 2% milk, a complimentary cap, no straw, stirred with light whip” before allowing this allegedly free man to board his flight.
How to connect the two? Well, Mr. Genius, on his “very next trip to the airport, … brought two old nasty half full one gallon cans of paint…” And the TSA duly stole and presumably disposed of them. Nice going all the way around! What a pity those brown-sorry, blue-shirted criminals do anything more than relieve us of garbage the unionized, tax-supported “sanitation workers” won’t. Enterprising passengers ought to set up a system in which, for a small fee, they will transport such contraband as old paint or turpentine cans, Styrofoam, mercury thermometers, etc., to the airport and let the TSA deal with them.
On a related note, “For TSA[,] Cleveland, Ohio is now the center of Ebola attention.” One of the agency’s goons there pawed poor Amber Vinson, the nurse with Ebola who flew home to Texas, in “a routine pat-down,” according to the TSA. Contemplate, if you will, the tyranny inherent in those three little words. At any rate, Ms. Vinson’s sexual assailant “has been placed on paid administrativeleave as a precautionary measure,” (emphasis added: aren’t you cheered to know your hard-earned money is subsidizing this gate-rapist’s vacation?) and “was instructed by CDC to self-monitor over the next few days…”
Here’s hoping that “self-monitoring” yields some poetic justice. Heh, heh…
12:51 pm on October 21, 2014 Email Becky Akers
What a delightful article — I love the humor and the wonderful ideas presented. Wish I could think of a way to get placed on paid-administrative leave.