Longtime Comedian Pulls No Punches Here!
Slowly, ever so slowly, the masses begin to awaken. Now that it is too late. Now Don, at 84, makes his imaginary address to Congress:
Hello, Dummies!
Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?
Seriously, Senator Reid has a face of a Saint… a Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid’s so dumb, he makes ex-Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I’d say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.
Speaking of the ex-Speaker… Nancy Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity. Seriously, the ex-Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. She really IS an idiot.
Charlie Rangel… Still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel’s the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He’s the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn’t he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.
Barney Frank… now retired they say. He’s a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider that he and Chris Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown, and they’re not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they’re still having their cronies head up the financial system! Let’s all admit it… Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain. How did this guy get elected in the first place? Oh, that’s right… he came out of the closet in Massachusetts .. That’s the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry… man of the Viet Cong people.
You know, if Chris Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him. Here’s a news flash, Dodd: When your local newspaper calls you a “lying weasel,” it may be time to retire. Dodd’s involved in more shady deals than the Clintons. Even Rangel looks up to him!
And you Presidential Press Secretaries, I really respect you all.. Especially given your upbringing ~ all you’ve overcome. I heard your birth certificates are an apology from the condom factory. I don’t know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you all. Personally, I don’t think you’re a bunch of fools, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
As for President Hussein Obama, what can I say? They say Hussein is arrogant and aloof, but I don’t agree. Now it’s true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don’t mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
His mind is open to new ideas… so open that ideas simply pass through it. Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really is Barry or Barack or something? Just don’t ask about his middle name! But Obama was able to set a record… He actually lied more in one day than Bill Clinton did in four years
President Obama just completed the UNHOLY and ANTI-AMERICAN TRIFECTA:
1st president in 110 years to miss the annual Army-Navy Football Game.
1st president to NOT attend any Christmas religious observance.
1st president to STAY ON vacation after a terrorist attack.
AND ALL IN THE SAME MONTH!
WHAT A GREAT MUSLIM PRESIDENT!!