Moishe is 90 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.
One day he arrives home looking downcast.
“That’s it,” he tells his wife Miriam. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I’ve hit the ball, I can’t see where it went.”
Miriam sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea with a piece of cake.
As they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother Herman with you and give it one more try.”
“That’s no good,” sighs Moishe. “Your brother’s a hundred and three. He can’t help.”
“He may be a hundred and three,” says Miriam, “but his eyesight is perfect.”
So the next day, Moishe heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law Herman. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway.
He turns to Herman. “Did you see the ball?”
“Of course I did!” replies Herman. “I have perfect eyesight.”
“Where did it go?” asks Moishe.
“I don’t remember.”
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” —Bob Hope
“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” —Phyllis Diller
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.” —Jerry Seinfeld
“I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” —Andy Rooney
“So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.” —George Carlin
“By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.” —Billy Crystal
“As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people sure don’t.” —Carrie Fisher
“You know you’re getting older when you’re told to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” —Joan Rivers
I can almost ID with that. Reminds me of a pilot that was having trouble with vision/depth perception for landing. Says he carries his younger non pilot bro. with him and when he makes a loud screaming/sucking noise he knows to raise the nose for landing attitude. I was told that by my retired USAF pilot friend.