Wake up America!!

Howie Carr Column in Boston Herald, Sunday, September 2, 2017

“How many flood victims in South Texas have been rescued by the antifa navy?

Just asking, because on TV this week I’ve been watching the “Cajun Navy” pull one Dunkirk after another all around the Gulf Coast.

And those good old boys look like they just came off the set of “Duck Dynasty.” They could be wearing MAGA hats. Hell, I’ll bet one or two of them may have even been falsely accused of committing a fake hate crime or two since the election by some unhinged Social Justice Warrior.

They are, to coin a phrase, deplorables.

Hell, a Chick-fil-A franchise in Houston sent out a power boat to rescue a couple of elderly customers, which is exactly one more rescue boat than George Soros, Tom Steyer, Evergreen State, Black Lives Matter and moveon.org have dispatched …. combined.

And the old folks didn’t even ask if Chick-fil-A’s CEO is still opposed to gay marriage.

Is Michael Moore hosting an All-U-Can-Eat buffet for first responders in Harris County? If he were, surely MSNBC would be covering it, live.

Where are Elizabeth Warren, Whoopi Goldberg, Steven Colbert, etc. etc.?

Seriously, doesn’t it look like almost all of the heavy lifting in the wake of Harvey is being done by people who belong to what the Southern Poverty Law Center would describe as “hate groups?”

Speaking of which, when does the SPLC’s food drive begin?

Are the non-workers of the Socialist Workers Party and the Spartacist League loading any southbound 18-wheelers with relief supplies this weekend?

Maybe everyone in “the Resistance” is worn out from wearing pink hats and black masks and tipping over statues and sucker punching passersby with bicycle locks in Berkeley and grabbing an old lady’s flag on the Boston Common and burning it – all those wonderful manifestations of how Love Trumps Hate, as they say.

Of course, it’s the last weekend of summer, so you can’t expect the likes of Jeffrey Epstein to be scrambling his private 747 out of the Hamptons to airlift foodstuffs to Galveston and Beaumont. You can’t be asking Brooklyn hipsters or Occupy Wall Street to occupy a relief shelter when the Beautiful People are jetting into Nantucket for brunch at the Chanticleer Inn.

Besides, as assorted adjunct professors at third-rate colleges have been tweeting out all week, those are Trump voters stranded down there in the Lone Star State – bitter clingers and irredeemables.

Do we even know if the Salvation Army has transgender bathrooms at its shelter in Port Arthur?

It’s Labor Day and Jerry Lewis is gone, but maybe Colin Kaepernick could stage a Harvey telethon outside NFL headquarters on Park Avenue. Why should J.J. Watt and his white privilege have all the fun raising charitable donations?

Then there’s John Kerry – he did sell his second wife’s first husband’s trust fund’s yacht when he moved from Nantucket to the Vineyard, but he could still enlist in the Cajun Navy. America’s Gigolo has other plans this weekend, though. According to The Hill, Liveshot is busy – “Kerry races to save American cycling team.”

Well, first things first.

“Kerry, an avid cyclist, has been working the phones to find new supporters for the team, Cannondale-Drapac, after one of its lead sponsors pulled its funding unexpectedly last week.” Now there is a real tragedy!

How about the Clinton Foundation? They have more money than God, but if you go to their website, all it has is a list of links to other organizations. For flood relief, I guess it takes a village, but not the Clinton Foundation.

Hillary is about to begin her new book tour. It only costs $2400 per person to attend the Toronto fete. How about a charity book signing in Lafayette LA? Call it, “Harvey – What Happened?”

Al Gore’s new “documentary” is tanking. Maybe he should offer free showings to the volunteer Tea Party types trying to lend a hand.

Joel Osteen took a lot of grief this week, but his church is open. Has anyone seen La Raza? Which of his three mansions is Bernie Sanders opening for flood victims?

Victims of Hurricane Harvey, when the phone don’t ring, you’ll know it’s #resist.”