Are you fed up with digging for your I. D.?
(“This is a legal product your selling here, isn’t it?”)
By Pat Shannan
At Christmastime, my good neighbor Sam (sounds like a good movie title to me), who quit drinking when his first child was born over forty years ago, was headed out to the supermarket for some last-minute items while his wife began a full day of cooking in preparation for the family’s arrival. She needed a bottle of sherry to complete a dinner recipe. En route to the rear side of Kroger’s he grabbed some other eye-catchers and a delicious looking standing rib roast on sale for “only $48” and the common fake pound of bacon (only 12 oz. now) before finding the wine his wife was seeking.
“May I see your I. D., Sir?” the sweet little blond of college age said.
“What for?” said Sam.
“Because you are purchasing wine.”
“So what,” he said. “Do I look underage to you?”
“Sorry, Sir, but we have to check everyone. It’s the law.”
“Really? Is that what they told you? Can you show me the law?”
“No, Sir, I just work here and do what I am told,” she said.
Sam came by the house the next day to tell me about it over coffee. I asked just what he did next. How did he resolve it?
He said, “Well, I thought a moment, said whatthehay, my wife needs the wine and flipped out my ID. She gave it a cursory glance and sent me on my way, but it really got me steamed while I thought about it on the way home. Then I found out she lied to me. Publix right down the street doesn’t enforce such foolishness.”
Yes, indeed. These mini-steps by the enemies of freedom get me steamed, too. It is a furthering but hidden jump toward preparing people for the quickly arriving police state.
Meanwhile, during the same week, Tony B. in Arkansas made a quick stop at his local Dollar General store to pick up some cigars. At the register the owner, who was clerking at the time, demanded Tony’s ID before accepting his money for the cigars. Tony, 81, told him to “stick ‘em where the sun don’t shine” (not a precisely documented quote.)
These few reports were enough to spurn this investigative reporter into action. Rumor had it in Georgia that Kroger’s had also stooped into this cloud of asininity. I confirmed with the manager at the nearby Publix that they had not stooped too or had any plans to do so.
“No way,” he said, “and with the feedback we are getting from angry seniors in the area, we certainly do not intend to. We are selling more wine and beer than ever. Didn’t know why or when we first noticed it. Then we found out it was because of the large influx of Kroger’s rejects only a half mile down the road. The old guys are rebelling. We love it.”
So, these old codgers would rather switch than fight, I thought. Hmmm. Well, maybe for now. But most of them that I know might prefer to fight for what is right in the long run. Then we learned that some of the moronic city councils had passed the unconstitutional absurdity and this was putting pressure on the local merchants, who didn’t necessarily agree with it either. But Kroger’s was a corporate decision from the top. I had an idea that might solve it for both sides.
The next afternoon I went to Kroger’s and after placing a solitary six-pack of beer in the bottom of my pushcart, loaded it with everything else that I liked but didn’t necessarily have to have that day, and moved toward the checkout. At the register the total came to something over eighty bucks, and as I handed the young clerk my Kroger card good for discounts, she said,
“May I see your ID, sir?”
I followed the script. “What for?”
“Because of the beer purchase. We have to card everybody.”
“Really?” I said. “That’s news to me, and not only was I buying booze before your daddy was born, I have bought beer here at Kroger’s for the past many years. Let me speak to your manager.”
The robotic young moron was very cordial and first told me that it was the law. I quickly straightened him out on that with the fact that it could not be the law because the liquor stores and other supermarkets were not doing it, so who told him that? He didn’t reply but soon admitted that it was a company policy administered from the executive offices and that he had no other option but to follow his company’s rules. I told him I had a personal policy as well – and that was to not bother myself with his company’s foolishness each time I went grocery shopping.
I said (and loud enough for everyone at all the registers to hear), “I am standing here with money in hand ready to purchase a legal product. Are you going to continue to stonewall one who is obviously of legal age with such a ridiculous company policy that could cost you my business forever?”
Following his own script, he admitted that he had no choice. It was his job, and I guess he was right about that. After all, he didn’t make the absurd rules. I left everything there in the basket for them to re-stock and began to realize that this message needs to be sent in a bigger way – all the way to the home offices of the various corporations. And suddenly it struck me like a bolt from the blue just exactly how to do it. The dumolpharts at the city council sessions need to wake up too. People in their 20s may be suspect about being under age, but we over fifty are not.
Tony by himself at Dollar General or Sam alone at Kroger’s cannot make an impact, and the dumbed-down young Americans who never knew the Greatest Generation or what it really stood for can only wonder and remark, “Duh. Well, why didn’t he just show his ID?”
Ahh, but if there is a rebelling remnant left in the country, it’s the old codgers. The senior element – and you don’t mess with them. They’ve got nothing to lose. You see them on YouTube fist-fighting with smart alecs on the city busses or even shooting when attacked. I admit that it I find it inspiring. Our appeal for justice is not to the cops, not to the judges and especially not to the outrageously over-priced attorneys. “SENIORS UNITE!” we say.
Here’s what we do. First we organize in groups of ten or more, and anywhere a Kroger, Dollar General, Aldi’s or any other known violator of our rights that is operating under color of law (and/or corporate policy), we converge en masse.
Now what if a dozen senior men and women a day just did what I did – except without the unnecessary confrontation? We just load up our baskets with whatever we might want to buy, with one bottle of cooking wine or beer included, and proceed to the register. If we slide through, we pay for it, because we could use it anyway. (If you don’t drink the wine or beer, you’ve got a neighbor or son-in-law who will.) But if we are challenged with the ridiculous demand that we show ID for the purchase of a legal product, here is the script:
Customer: “Why do you want to see my ID?”
Clerk: “Because we have to check everyone.”
Customer: “I just changed my mind. I don’t want to do business with you.”
No confrontation. No argument with the manager. Just “Sorry, I changed my mind,” and the sight of customers walking away from unpaid merchandise will have an immense impact. Now what are they going to do except restock their shelves?
It won’t be much of a problem for the large corporations to ignore a Sam or a Tony or me now and then. But what will they do when a dozen at a time hit a dozen or more stores on the same day? And all with the same message? (“Sorry. I don’t want this stuff now. Changed my mind.”) The time spent re-stocking shelves will certainly impress upon them that by not bothering customers with this ID-checking foolishness will certainly be less hassle and also conserve customers for the future. Very quickly the corporate offices will wake up to their own foolishness and senior harassment will be cooled (for a while, until the next crisis when we re-unite.) And when local stores lose business, local tax collectors lose revenues. And those stores within the City Council jurisdictions will quickly begin to appeal with the message, “Will you idiots back off? Make it a sensible statute to check the youngsters who might be suspect, not the Seniors. We are losing business.”
So, are America’s senior citizen’s weary yet of this new corporate intrusion and invasion of privacy? You now have your very effective weapon of silent protest. Cracker Barrel execs woke up in a flash when they realized they had made a mistake. So will the others. The question is whether the bridge clubs and bowling leagues are willing to organize for an occasional mission of freedom.
And the mission should not take long at all. You might even find a few thirty and forty-year-olds to join your army.
This is an EXCELLENT idea and I believe it will have a huge impact.
Thank you for thinking of it!